brutal and short

BRUTAL AND SHORT


I know that the vast majority of my minions slipped into their cubicles this morning and fired up the Internet and the first thing they ran across was the story ( I thank the minions who pointed it out to me- I wouldn’t have seen it otherwise ) on how the Alaskan estimated oil reserves are being downgraded 90%. I can almost see the comical expression on your face as you got the look of someone in the elevator who suddenly soiled themselves and as the stench billowed out their pant leg along with the liquid they realized they had another thirty stories to go accompanied by their girlfriend, boss, director of human resources and the competition for the next promotion. Holy Mother Of God, you scream in fright. That guldurn Dakin ( Dakin Snuggle Safari Security Blankets - 4 Pack ) is going to whip the crap out of this dead horse and I’ll have to read through all that nonsense before he says something interesting. Correct you are, Sherlock ( The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes ). Amazing how insightful you are after observing my behavior for a short time, yet how willing you are to snort up the intoxicating opiate of optimism to avoid reality. I’ve said it all along- be very afraid. Paranoia ( Understanding Paranoia: A Guide for Professionals, Families, and Sufferers ) is your friend. Don’t believe a damn thing they say. Estimated oil reserves are just like your own estimation of your power over women ( for guys ) or the estimation of your ass size ( for ladies ). You think you are a ladies man or have a petite rear but in reality you are a repulsive jerk or have a butt the size of Cleveland. Or, as I said a few weeks ago- when I eat a burrito I can guess the ESTIMATED gas reserves in my intestines, but until I fart I don’t know the ACTUAL reserves.

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Whenever a minion wishes to discredit any doom and gloom ( Doom and Gloom ) on my part they point out that my Hobbesian ( Leviathan - Thomas Hobbes ) viewpoint of life being brutal and short is too simplistic. I suppose they class that statement together with any Malthusian ( The Malthusian Catastrophe ) thoughts, as they skip amongst the daffodils in a spring meadow with rainbows and pixie dust and unicorns. We are the world…Ooops, sorry. I was in the moment. I mean, seriously people. Have you never been screwed over by your neighbors? An ex never took you to the cleaners? Never been pulled over and given a very expensive revenue enhancement ticket? It isn’t rocket science. When people need each other they get along and when survival is at stake they screw each other and half the people will screw you just out of greed instead of need. The timeline is as follows. The collapse comes and people will do very nasty things to each other. Once order is restored people will go back to playing nice with one another. I’m not saying that we will see and either/or future. It won’t be a contest between Mad Max ( Mad Max (Special Edition) ) for all eternity or an idyllic organic farm future. It will be the one, then the other. Simple as pie.

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Unfortunately for our own ideal of our morality and intelligence, we are programmed to act selfishly. If it avoids getting us in trouble we get along with other people. If no one is around to police our behavior and our survival is at stake, we will take what we need from others. Then of course there is the greed wildcard which is always a factor. But in essence, we will do what is best for us and what we are told. The rich are able to peacefully reside next to a ghetto just a few miles down the road. They usually don’t have armed guards ( they don’t have that much wealth- unlike Toni “say hello to my little friend” Montana [ Scarface ] who had automatic fire and grenades to dissuade the competition against invasion ). They do have the general publics appreciation of the consequences of breaking the law. Have a few ounces of weed on you? Go you prison, get sodomized, die of AIDS. The death sentence for selling weed, just like in Thailand. The difference is that over there they spend fifteen cents on a bullet. Over here we spend a few hundred thousand to enrich the lawyers and then let you die by proxy years down the road. As insane as our punishment system is, it does serve the purpose of using ever increasing amounts of fear to keep the violence under some kind of control. At least up until now. Most folks live in relative peace because the scumbags are worried about getting caught ( all this is generalities- I know the low percentages of crimes solved and the rates of recidivism and the history of Victorian England’s failed policies of even harsher penalties ). Not because they care about their fellow man.

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The other side of the fear coin is the benefits of cooperation ( The Evolution of Cooperation: Revised Edition ). You help out folks and they give back. Look, I know you’ll throw an example my way of good church folk always helping out a neighbor, etc. I understand they “do what is right” and don’t treat it as a cost/benefits analysis. But that underlines my point. Cultural training is the means this is accomplished. And come the crisis most folks will operate under this cultural training and end up in the stewpot. You must recognize when the old social contract has been forcefully severed and go into full savage mode. You must also recognize when the “new sheriff comes into town” and start acting law abiding. After the bloodshed, after order is restored, then the “love thy neighbor” laws come back into effect. The future isn’t brutal OR cooperative, they are both one after another. If you fail to acknowledge the new rules you will lose. Penalty-death.

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