Well, I’ve been setting this one aside for quite awhile, hoping I could keep postponing the inevitable day when there simply wasn’t a darn thing to write about. Oh, I guess I could read more news every morning and talk about current events, but that is just a vast putrid time sink, the kind you might find in aDMV or a garage full of Natural Geographic magazines from the 1940’s. Both the reading and writing part. Even the items I do cover of a topical nature are mainly wastes of time. Which is proof enough if you need it that the darn collapse is taking way too long if you’ve been reading this for five years. You could have shelled out $3 in 2006 for my Frugal Survivalist e-book, spent a few hours reading it, then completely ignored the drama of the road-rage/road wrecks towards Apocalypse and not missed too much. It might all be fascinating or mildly entertaining but ultimately the show serves very little purpose. So why not just throw more navel gazing your way, as you’ve already proven to be a ready audience, eyes bright in the advancing headlights, frozen in inaction. Today’s burning question is, what the heck do I do if the world doesn’t end in the first weeks of June, 2012 ( the first paycheck after child support ends, the world ends as I am not meant to enjoy the fruits of my labor )?
I know most of you could easily blow through $400 a month. You would be buying more semi-auto weapons, more semi-auto magazines, more semi-auto ammunition and more semi-auto accessories like laser sites, tactical nuclear weapon tipped grenade launchers and radar imaging TV screens. You would throw more money down the 401(k) rathole, the mortgage craphole and the SUV black hole. You would be bribing your wife with diamonds so you could get some nasty more than once a month ( the next time the wife asks, “you got a hand don’t you?”, answer with “oh, you’re right. Get out” ). You would be buying the kids McSlop’s or getting them tennis shoes that didn’t have any holes in them. In short, you would totally waste the extra money, the whole time wondering why you are dead ass broke and destined to work until the day after you die ( tip to Wal-Mart on saving money so you don’t have to rip me off on my food items- prop up a dead greeter with a motion detector to play the digital recording “hi, welcome to Wal-Mart”. When he gets too ripe, replace with another cadaver. The live one’s move so slow no one can tell the difference and bribing the funeral director will be much cheaper. Old dudes- demand a cut of his action with a funeral discount ). I can’t waste money like that. I’ve trained myself to be so cheap that any consumer spending that doesn’t make me money ( books ) or keep me alive ( food ) goes against my nature. Why spend money on a car if insurance gets too expensive, gas becomes rationed or the mechanic sees most of your disposable income? Why eat out now that the crap is so much more expensive and tastes like cardboard dipped in grease? Why have a bigger domicile if the taxman is just going to screw you out of enjoying it?
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And how many preps can you own? You can always refine and add and tweek, but at some point you have to stop getting too crazy on it. Oh, I’ll spend more on ammunition for the Enfield and get serious about the reloading components. I’ll always be buying more wheat ( I like the idea about the twenty year stash, hoping I’ll live that much longer ). Here is my basic criteria on what to do with my new found embarrassment of riches, should the world not end next summer. Anything spent is temporary only. Nothing budgeted I can’t change my mind and immediately stop paying ( for instance, I wouldn’t get broadband Internet access if it came with a two year commitment ). If I start renting a car once a month, I’ll not only make the wife much happier since she can get into town, I’ll be able to buy bags of wheat and other bulk items I can’t handle on my bike ( no, I won’t buy a trailer and haul them that way. I put enough mileage on just getting to work and I’m burning enough calories schlepping thousands of pounds a day there ). If I need that extra $80 a month, I can stop. But in the mean time it is a luxury I’ll be able to afford ( call it an even $100 after the wife gets slot machine playing money ). Another $100 in 250 pounds of wheat, or 125 pounds of pinto beans or 200 pounds of white flour or whatever. Come next summer, I should have even more storage space ( hallway to underground bunker ) although I still have plenty to spare now if I go down into the spider pit. $100 will go towards ammo and once in a great while a gun ( I’d like to replace my tube fed semi rimfire with a few single shots, plus one of these days I’ll supplement my Enfields with an arsenal of 223 singles with mil-dot scopes. Plus, if they are still available, Russian bolts and ammo, once I get full up on everything else gun-wise. And I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to invest in post-apoc bikes and parts which will be a back-up for my daily riding, plus the occasional cash savings ( I won’t get crazy there, as too much cash is just inflation-bait ). But for all of the above, I can’t see it lasting all that long.
After so many tons of wheat, why go on? After twenty or thirty thousand rimfire, why continue? I think if I reach that point, and I have the land paid, I’m in trouble with over half my take home pay sitting around burning a hole in my pocket. I’ll build underground on the other pieces of land, hell, I’ll even pay for a backhoe instead of digging it myself. That can either be back-up residences or a home for my son if he ever moves out this way. I don’t know what the heck I’ll do after that point. I can’t increase my book budget past what I have now, I’ll just start buying crappier books. I’ll already be totally maxed on preps ( even doubling or tripling the solar panels will only take a month or two ). Perhaps I’ll just start a publishing company and sink all the cash into book inventory. Until then, I’ll have plenty of time to write a few of the books, and if it succeeds, I can will a business to the kids. That should take care of the next twenty years of surplus earnings. Damn, what a great problem to have.
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