ultimate yuppie survivalist

ULTIMATE YUPPIE SURVIVALIST

This article was from information gleemed from the book "Boomerang" by M. Lewis.  An OK read, but I wouldn't recommend that you buy your own copy.
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Welcome to the world of Kyle Bass, Yuppie Survivalist extraordinaire. Mr. Bass is a Texan who, as seemingly only Texans can, does things in a huge way. Way back in the day, when every swinging middle class dingus was buying houses made with about ten thousand dollars worth of building material, and overpriced at that since this stuff has the weathering capacity of tissue paper, perched atop a plot of land in the desert far away from a natural water source ( here’s an fun filled fact for you. The idiots down in Phoenix decided to build the worlds only nuclear power plant NOT on a natural body of water and cool the thing with sewage effluent. Minus the power to pump water to peoples toilets, then to treat the water, then to pump the water to the nuclear power plant, which may or may not be tied to the plant or might just be from an outside source, the plant doesn’t receive coolant and the stored waste melts down ) worth a few hundred bucks but sold at a gabzillion percent mark-up, and paying mortgages for a quarter million dollars even with a combined income of only $60k and thinking it was the most sane thing they could possibly do with their money, Mr. Bass clearly saw the whole housing market as a bubble and made many short bets against it ( from the money he had made as a regular Wall Street trader ). He wasn’t shy in sharing his common sense math and tried to warn his old Street buddies, but they scoffed at him in what might have been sneering tones and a disbelief that anyone dare suggest that the gravy train was headed towards a deep gorge and the bridge had already fallen. Which is kind of like my situation in which I scream from the rooftops in a high falsetto that we are almost out of energy and that we are all going to die very soon but instead of listening one expert goes and hugs his organic turnips and another adds another laser sight to his semi-auto. All scoff and look at me with a sneer, incredulous that I dare suggest that the gravy train of Ooooohhh Soooo Sloooow multi-generational decline is not gospel. You can’t make much money if all your customers are in the stewpot.

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Herr Bass, about one of fifteen ( literally ) hedge fund managers to make significant bets against the housing bubble, made an insane killing on his bet. His newest worry is that governments will be the next bubble ( actually, the whole bubble is that of credit, with houses just a prelude to western governments ). And he is betting accordingly. He freely admits that if his collapse chronology is off, if the US fails before France or Japan ( the little bit players of Greece and Spain and such pale besides the problems of the big players ), he loses everything. But if France goes first, he makes another Jobs fortune. If the US collapses first ( unlikely as we control the markets, but nothing is a sure bet ), he has his prudent investment. A vast ranch with a vast arsenal for his private army, plenty of gold bars ( the lucky working schmuck might own a gold coin- he has oodles and gobs of bars ), and I giggle helplessly, twenty million US nickel coins. I understand that yuppie scum are hopelessly mired in their Looking Glass world of luxury and wealth. They simply look at things differently. They think that because a nickel has seven cents worth of base metal it is a good investment. Perhaps with today’s current affordable ( and it is still affordable, as you can tell when there is little to no slow down in traffic flows of private vehicles, both Hummer and thirty year old gum, glue and duct tape jalopies as every idiot out there burns through $4 a gallon gasoline as if it were water ) energy to smelt the coin, it is a good investment. In tomorrows world of both scarce and unaffordable energy, you aren’t going to melt down the coins. And if I were bartering or selling irreplaceable items, I would always take a pre-82 copper penny over any number of nickels for just that reason. I consistently find 10% of my sorted pennies are real money. Not a bad return, even if you do need strong sunlight and a magnifying glass to squint over the dates.

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In the hierarchy of celebrity status, as are certain media darling Yuppie Survivalists to the poser wannabe’s, so Kyle Bass is to those guru’s. He is the Yuppie Survivalists yuppie survivalist. He is a mans man amongst the masses of timid sheeple. And, quite simply, he is an example to set before your children of the simple problem of having too much money. Simply unsolvable. Don’t think I’m envious. I think that if anyone deserves to wallow in the surplus of financial speculation it would be the guy that stood up and cried to the many, “you simple humps. You idiots. You mouth breathing morons. You inbred banjo playing imbeciles. Your whole teetering house of cards is swaying and about to crash”. This is Yuppie Survivalism run amok. You buy all there is to buy prepping, you own more nickels that prudent, more gold than can be redeemed. You own more weapons than a chain of gun stores stock and you’ve amassed your future army. And you still have money left over to make massive financial bets on the future of western civilization. His problem is he can’t get rid of the money ( dude, see my previous articles advice on relocating to Latin America and becoming a land baron- the carrying capacity of rural South America is already close to ideal, unlike rural America ). Contrary to idle proclamations of the poor, this is NOT a good problem to have. Your potential enemies multiple exponentially but your solutions return less effectiveness per added dollar.

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Each solution to a problem of securing your current lifestyle just present more problems, each with diminishing returns. You want to eat a twentieth century diet of freeze dried food pyramid meals, rather than fifteenth century gruel. So you work in the city to afford that investment. Which necessitates a bug out vehicle. You can’t keep all those cans of food in the city, so you buy a retreat. But you can’t live on your retreat so you need to bury your food in a climate controlled bunker, which needs alternate energy sources to work the motors which need back up units. You need an army to help defend your freeze dried foods, rural retreat and gold, which means you need yet more food and more semi-auto weapons and so on and so forth and soon, without really trying, you need a quarter million dollars investment. On the other hand, if you are poor you bury buckets of wheat in your back yard and buy a few extra Russian bolt guns for your buddies. A ton of wheat, five rifles and four thousand rounds of ammo run you about two grand. When you aren’t rich, solutions are so much easier.

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